How come nobody tells you it feels this way?? Because there's no way to describe it.

I knew that I would love being a Mom. When I saw kids hug there parents, or tug on their arm, I was that awkward person looking and smiling at them as I pictured my own child in the future doing the same to me. Now that Dominic is 4 months old, I can't fully describe how it feels to be a Mom and how much I love him. I never had this aha moment where my heart felt like it was going to burst with love the first time I saw him. The first time I saw him I was overwhelmed definitely with love, but also questions, new parent anxieties, etc.

It seems that as the anxieties wear off and I've gotten more comfortable in my role as a mother the more I've been able to bond with this amazing little man that I have. I don't really know when it happened exactly, but I have this unconditional, undying love that I can't describe for him. I've caught myself tearing up when he just smiles and giggles at me. Even when he takes a break from breastfeeding to babble to me I've caught myself getting tears in my eyes because its like he's whispering a story to me that nobody else understands. I get choked up seeing any kid or baby hurt on TV. And I have this need to protect Dominic at all costs. I would do absolutely anything to protect this little baby of mine even if it means giving up my own happiness, well-being or life. Every day I spend with Dominic I fall more and more in love with him and can't imagine my life without him. I dread the day that he's grown up and doesn't need me anymore, but am also so excited to interact with him and watch him grow and learn and see the man he becomes.

And the world's fastest eater award goes to......... New moms everywhere!

Alright. I admit that with a new baby around the house I have not only mastered the art of putting a quick meal together in 30 seconds or less and showering in 30 seconds or less, I have also learned how to eat an entire meal (drink included) in 30 seconds or less. Well maybe 60 seconds. I was able to master these very important skills thanks to my son, who mastered the skill of fussing for a diaper change, food or attention the second I tried to do something for myself. He didn't mind if I had to skip meals or did not manage to shower for 2 days.

Even now that Dominic is almost 4 months old, and I don't have to rush through everything because he stays content for longer and sleeps for longer, I still find myself inhaling my food. Which everyone likes to point out to me and get a good laugh in. I can get my food last from the whole family, and still finish in record timing and beat everyone else. Don't judge me that I can't shake the habits of a mother with a newborn! Dominic still has his days that he decides I shouldn't be able to shower or eat so these skills still come in handy so I'm not quite ready to get rid of them just yet.

It took having a baby to make me appreciate my body

I had heard from some women that after their pregnancy they loved their body and were so proud of it. I thought how backwards that must be. How can you like your body after having a baby??

Before I was pregnant I never realized how bad my complex about my weight was. I thought I always needed to tone up more or lose more weight. I never appreciated my body and always thought I had to fix it. I was constantly trying to watch what I ate (which was really hard because I LOVE food and cooking and baking). It was extremely hard for me to get fat throughout my pregnancy, even though I knew it was for a good cause and it was making my baby healthy. I finally gave up trying to work out because well after 3 months of nausea and exhaustion I just didn't have it in me. And then after that I was still just tired and going to work all day was enough to put me to bed by 9pm.

My son is coming up on 4 months old, and I haven't lost any weight since the week after he was born. While I feel I look better than I did then and my stomach looks almost back to normal now, I still have 25-30 pounds to lose to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight... and more importantly, get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I don't worry half as much about my weight now as I did before I got pregnant, and now that I try on my jeans and can't fit into them I can't believe I ever thought I was fat!!!!  I do find it really hard to lose weight though. Everyone said how you'll burn calories and lose weight so fast when you're breastfeeding, I find it the opposite!  I have to eat to make sure my body is making milk and well balanced so my son is getting what he needs. I never ate this much before I was pregnant!